I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell

I promised updates, here they are:
-Trailer: I saw the second cut of the trailer yesterday. I didn’t watch the first because Sean called me and told me, for my own mental health, to not watch it. He remembers how I reacted to the first time I saw the rough cut–it was not good–so I took his advice and waited for him and Nils to give their notes to the trailer company and watch the second cut.
We all saw the second cut yesterday, and I am glad I took Sean’s advice on the first cut. The second cut was…it made me not want to see the movie, which is the worst thing a trailer can do obviously. It needs work.
Actually, that’s false. It needs to be scrapped and completely re-conceptualized. The problem is that we tried to make a trailer like every other Hollywood comedy–meaningless cuts, goofy jokes, show the hijinks and get out–and that doesn’t work with this movie because that is not at all what this movie is about. Not at all.
This is not a big deal, I know the material is there to make a kickass trailer, but we are going to have to really think about it and work on it, instead of just plugging scenes in the standard Hollywood comedy template. This is not a paint-by-numbers movie, so the standard way of doing things won’t work most of the time.
All this means is that we probably won’t have the trailer done by the time we were hoping. Sucks, but whatever, welcome to making movies. Nothing is ever on time. But it’ll be up soon, I promise.
-Poster: No proofs yet. Will post my thoughts when they come in, then post the poster as soon as we finish it.
-Movie edition of the book: So this is kinda cool–my publisher decided to do a special “Movie Edition” of the book. It’ll be the exact same stories, but the front cover will be the movie poster instead of me, and there will be a 16 page insert of color photos from the set. Plus Nils and I wrote like a one page introduction that was kinda funny. It’ll be released in early September to coincide with the movie release, and will only have a limited run, like 30,000 copies or something, then in November or so we’ll go back to the normal cover and shit.
It’s nothing really new, so please don’t be in a frantic rush to run out and buy it, but if you are into collectors items or shit like that, it would probably be cool to have. I’ll post more about it when it’s closer to release.
-New site: Carrot Creative is hard at work getting the new site together, we should have it up in a few weeks. Plus they are going to re-do the Facebook fan page, and the Myspace page. Lots of new features, plus it will feature the red-band trailer, so it should be cool.
-So get this: When you get your rating from the MPAA, they actually send you a signed, embossed and sealed form that says, in red print, what your rating is. Seriously, here is ours:
[Pic is redacted, per frantic email from Sean, via Darkos publicists. I wish I was kidding.]
I don’t know why, but this certificate made me erupt in laughter.
[BTW--it says distributor "not set" because we submitted the movie for a rating like, four or five months ago.]
-The Premiere Tour: Our guy is hard at work booking all of our stops, and we have a conference call tomorrow to go over everything. It looks like we have a few cities we are going to have to skip because of various problems with finding an appropriate venue, but no big deal, we’ll just replace them with other cities close by. As soon as we lock every stop down, we will start selling tickets, and YES, for the fourth time, people on the mailing list, and Facebook fans, and Twitter followers and MySpace fans will get first shot at tickets. So pick your permission asset and sign up now.
And good news: I think we found a way to hit the west coast in the later part of the tour, so it looks like we will be stopping in Tucson, Tempe, San Diego and LA, and maybe San Francisco and Seattle, all in late September. No promises, but we are trying to make it all work.
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There are a ton of updates about the trailer, the poster, a movie-edition of the book, the tour and everything else, but I am going to post those tomorrow. This post isn’t really about this movie, so if that’s all you care about, that’s cool, but stop reading, because today I want to talk about something different, something that probably won’t interest you:
With this movie, and even with this blog, there are two different things going on simultaneously. The first and most obvious is that we are making a movie and promoting its release. And with that, the only thing that really matters is the movie itself, and whether or not the movie is enjoyable to the people who watch it. And make no mistake, that issue–making a great movie–is always at the forefront of our minds.
But for me personally, this whole undertaking has never been about one movie. Nothing I did on this movie–from the script, to the financing, to the casting, to the production, to the marketing–was done with one movie in mind. For over five years I have looked at this movie as the first major battle in the grand campaign to change the entertainment business. From day one, I have had a plan in my head about where I wanted to take this and how I wanted to get there.
Look at how Nils and I made this movie, the process we followed. We examined the “normal” Hollywood way of making a movie, found it to be stifling to creativity and utterly evil in how it treats artists, and consciously rejected it. Instead, we took another path:
We wrote a different way–not worrying about what would sell or what we were “supposed” to do, instead focusing on nothing other than what made the best movie.
We financed it the right way–turning down upfront money and guaranteed “success” so we could do the movie with a company who would respect our artistic vision and give us creative control.
We made it the right way–by hiring people who got our vision and wanted to do it the right way, not the “Hollywood” way.
And we are marketing it the right way–by engaging fans in the process, being completely honest with them, and always treating them the way we would want to be treated, instead of shilling and lying to them at every turn.
We may be right and win this battle, and it may launch us towards winning the whole war. We may be wrong, and lose this battle (or worse, we may be right and still lose). I have no idea what the next 88 days will bring, or how this movie’s success will end up.
But, in the end, this is just one battle. The war is going on, all over the world, all around us at all times. No matter what I do or what this movie does, it is only one small battle in a much larger conflict. The world is changing all around us in fundamental ways, and for the first time in over a hundred years, the opportunity is there for the artist to free themselves from the tyranny of the 20th century corporate system, and to unleash their creativity, unbounded by anyone or anything else.
Look at these movies, supposedly the ten most profitable movies ever, in terms of ROI ratio. Do you notice the theme? Each one was revolutionary in its time, each one was a whole new take on some aspect of movie-making, each one was original and raw and authentic and each one was done…outside the system.
Or take this article, again from today, about how fucked up the old star system is and how audiences are craving originality and meaning. The curtain has been pulled back, and people aren’t accepting mindless corporate bullshit anymore. They want value.
The world of art and entertainment is changing in front of our eyes. The shift in power from the middleman to the creator–in all fields of commerce actually, not just art–has begun, and the 21st century will be defined by this movement. Putting value back in the hands of the creators, after a century of robbing them, that is what the 21st century will be about, and we are witnessing the shift right now.
This may sound kooky to you, and if it does, that’s fine. This post wasn’t meant for you. It was meant for all those people out there who want to create, who want to do something excellent create value and make something that creates a better world in some way. I am telling you, right now, it can be done. For maybe the first time in history, the creator is free to be who they want to be, to create what they want to create, and to not have to answer to the interests or demands of the powerful, or of anyone but themselves.
Now, make no mistake–everything has a cost. Life is a tradeoff. It is not easy to be an artist or a creator. But look around. It can be done. You can do it, and you don’t have to sell your soul or corrupt your self to do it. And every day it gets easier. If this movie succeeds the way I think it will, it will be one more brick off the wall. If not, no big deal, some other movie will come along and take that brick down.
But the wall is falling. One brick at a time, we are moving to a better system and a better world. Understand it, embrace it and reap the rewards…or be like the 20th century studio system, and watch yourself be slowly left behind.
EDIT: As soon as I post this, Umair posts something just like it, but better. He’s right.

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As Day 95 until the release dawns, I have an update on all sorts of things:
-We spent all day Friday doing the photo shoot for the movie poster, and then doing some ADR for the trailer. If I wasn’t an idiot I would have taken my camera and taken pictures of both things, but whatever. If you’ve seen one photo shoot, you’ve seen them all. We should have proofs to look at for both next week, and as soon as we release either of them, the readers of this blog will be the first to know, I promise.
-I would like to thank everyone who sent us suggestions for Premiere Tour theaters in our screening cities (pursuant to the request in this post). We got a fucking crazy amount of email, and in the case of one city, it actually changed the tour.
I can officially announce that–barring some unforeseen problem–was are now adding Blacksburg, home of Virginia Tech University, to the tour.
We are doing this solely because of the crazy amount of response we got. We got at least 100 emails (and counting) just from people in Blacksburg and VaTech people. It was nuts. Penn State people and people from Toronto were #2 and #3 and sent a lot, but Blacksburg was first by a large margin. Don’t worry UVa people–we are still keeping your screening, we are just going to find a way to fit Blacksburg in also.
I’ll tell you what–if you are in a marginal city or one that we could conceivably hit but isn’t on the tour, and you can muster a huge response, we might add your city too. It’s not inconceivable, especially if it’s a college town.
-I can finally announce this: We officially have our R rating from the MPAA. We actually had it like, two months ago, but I couldn’t announce it because, irony of ironies, the cut we submitted to them and got an R rating for was TOO GRAPHIC for us, and we wanted a slightly toned down cut. Every change you make, even if you make the movie less graphic, has to be screened, so I had to wait until we got our final cut approved to announce it. But yeah, it’s an R.
-To everyone asking where you can get tickets to one of the Premiere Tour stops–people, we have to finish booking the theaters and get the online ticketing system up. It’s be like 2-4 weeks before the tickets go on sale, so just relax. Yes, we expect that they will sell out quickly, but I will give you plenty of notice before they go on sale, and all of you readers will get first crack at them, I promise.
-I know I have written before about how we try to do the right thing by our fans, and most Hollywood studios don’t. Well, that is true, with the exception of Pixar. Those guys are awesome at everything.
-If you don’t follow movie blogs, one of the best to read is Thompson on Hollywood. Anne Thompson is one of more level-headed and intelligent writers when it comes to giving perspective on the business of Hollywood, and she listed the six things this summers movies have taught us. Check out #1 and #3:

1. Originals sell. The very thing that the majors are most afraid of is what makes Pixar King of the Mountain, every single time: originality. While everyone else looks for easy-sell labels, Pixar relies on a very old-fashioned idea: make it good and they will come. Up scored not via marketing prowess, but through great word-of-mouth. Gross to date: $191 million and going strong. Heck yeah!
3. Smart R-rated dumb male comedies sell. Always have, always will. The Hangover is the summer’s sleeper hit, grossing more than $110 million in its first two weeks.

Yep. Cannot agree more on both counts, which is one of the reasons I believe this movie is going to do so well–it is not only original in pretty much every important way, it is original within the confines of an established and successful genre: The R-rated male comedy.
I know I have said this like, 100 times before, but trust me: This movie is going to really, really well. It’s the right movie at the right place and in the right time.
-This actually leads me to a point some people have asked me about: How similar is IHTSBIH to The Hangover?
I guess I can see why, if you only read the loglines, you might think the movies are similar. The Hangover is about three guys and what happens in the aftermath of a bachelor party in Vegas. IHTSBIH is about three guys who go on a bachelor party, and how that affects their friendships. OK fine, if you stop there, I guess they seem similar. But trust me on this: These two movies are about as different as two movies can be, while still being in the same basic genre (the R-rated male comedy). The Hangover is just like most all other Hollywood comedies, except its funnier. The piece of feedback we get the most consistently across all screenings is this, “I can’t really describe this in terms of another movie–it’s not like any other movie.”
I don’t want to get to much into the specifics of how the movies are different, because that will require me to disclose too many spoilers from IHTSBIH. But literally almost everything that can be different, is different. Some examples:
-Style of comedy: The Hangover is physical comedy highlighted by preposterous plot devices. IHTSBIH is dialogue based comedy highlighted by realism at every level.
-Story: The Hangover has a tenuous story that exists only to string a series of unrelated jokes together, and that climaxes in a pretty predicable way, dying at the end (except for the credits, which were awesome). IHTSBIH has a very meaningful and heartfelt story, with the best scene in the movie being the climax, that builds to an amazing finish (seriously Czuchry KILLS it in the last big scene).
-Cinematography: Without getting into technical details, the movies look and feel VERY different. Lighting, shot selection, blocking, even type of film is all different. When you see, you’ll understand.
Those are just three examples of many, but the point is that the superficial similarities are really not significant; it’s the differences that make the movies. It’d be like saying Ironman and The Dark Knight are the same because they are both superhero movies–that’s preposterous. They were very different movies, even though both were the same general genre. Same here.
I know I am going to get this question too, so I might as well answer it: Yes, OF COURSE I think our movie is better than The Hangover. Way better. Of course, I am biased as shit, how could I not think that?
But to say that is not to try and put The Hangover down. It’s a fine movie, probably one of the better comedies of the past ten years, and I even laughed a few times when watching it (I am a tough critic on comedies). And shit did Zach Galifianakis do a great job. Of course I have my issues with it, and I could outline them, but really, who fucking cares–it’s a good movie, worth seeing, and I am very happy to see it do well. Check that–I am ecstatic to see that movie do well. It proved my point exactly–I wrote on here many times that a lack of big name stars are not needed to launch a great comedy, and that the market for good R comedy is huge, and The Hangover proved those points very right. It’s success bodes extremely well for ours.
-Though, I can’t talk about The Hangover without leaving you with this last tidbit:

Geoff Stults, one of the three leads in our movie, was also offered the role of the groom in The Hangover. He had both that offer and our movie’s offer at the same time…and he turned down more money for The Hangover to do I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell. There was a reason for that.
It’s not because The Hangover is a bad movie. Far from it–that movie is solid, and everyone knew it would do really well.
No, it’s because ours was something different, something special, and he saw that.
And in 95 days (or less), you’ll see for yourself.
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My past three days have been somewhat eventful.
I took a red-eye to NYC on Monday night, to do a screening on Tuesday afternoon for Carrot Creative. They are the elite design/development firm that is helping head up our internet/SMO strategy, and so I screened the movie for the entire firm. Maybe 40 people there, all creative types, it went great.
During the meeting afterwards, I had the weirdest thought–it was the first time I can ever remember being in a real, legit business meeting where I was the oldest person there. Their CEO Mike Germano is only 27 and one of those dudes who has done so much stuff in his life you start counting the years to see where he fit it all in–among other things, he’s been a state representative in Connecticut and currently runs one of the best creative firms in the country, and he’s fucking 27. I didn’t even START writing until I was 27. Fuck overachievers.
Of course, he is Italian, so at least that provided hours of inappropriate and base ethnic humor for me to mine, e.g., “You’re Italian? That can’t be. You walk upright.”
That night we all went out and got completely shit-canned. The two highlights (for me):
1. The model who came out to meet me with a copy of her latest four page photo shoot and accompanying interview (it was in some artsy French magazine). She pointed to a passage, and blushing heavily, asked me to read it. It was her gushing about how much she liked my book.
2. Her friend was even funnier than her. She was a model too, but not just any model. Nope, she was the type of model who goes out to bars in the east village in tight pink hot pants. I am not exaggerating one ounce. You could almost see her cervix through the camel toe they were so tight. She ended up going home with my buddy who is an ESPN writer (not Bill Simmons). I won’t name him, he can tell the story himself in his column if he wants, but it was awesome because the week before he had a threesome set up with a porn star and some other girl, had them both IN HIS HOTEL ROOM, and blew it–didn’t fuck either one! His confidence was shattered, so of course I called him Leon Lett all week.
But this night I told him, “Dude, just relax. Let your desire go, live in the moment, have fun, and the sex will happen on it’s own. Chase it and it runs; let it come to you and you own it.” He played it perfectly. It’s awesome to see your students grow in front of your eyes.
The next day I opened my eyes at 7am and was immediately startled completely awake–my assistant Ian standing at the foot of my hotel room bed staring at me, “We have to catch a cab to LaGuardia.” The kid is weird.
I took a flight to Ft. Bragg, North Carolina to screen the movie for [UNIT REDACTED]. The whole thing came together in such an impromptu way–a month ago I got this random email:

“Tucker,
I had an epiphany on my ride home today. I bet you get this all the time nonetheless I thought I would try it. So, I went home, and did what I always do when decision time comes around. I had a few beers to clear the mind and thought ‘what the fuck’, I guess it’s worth a shot:
Would it be possible for soldiers from my [UNIT REDACTED] to enjoy a small screening of your upcoming IHTSBIH before [WE DEPLOY]? We’re gonna miss the domestic premiere. I know I would rather watch such a highly anticipated film in a theater… rather than from my computer, in a sandy FOB, through a bootleg I’d purchase from the [LOCATION REDACTED] bazaar in three to four months.
Background: Our [UNIT REDACTED], (stationed in Fort Bragg) has [A BUNCH OF GUYS] that are deploying to [LOCATION REDACTED]. I am speaking for a lot of people that I am not really authorized to speak for, but I am sure there is a significant interest in your book and upcoming film amongst the lower enlisted soldiers as they fall under the target audience. I can only really speak for myself here, but I assume that these soldiers would be absolutely enthralled to enjoy a screening of your film prior to deployment in a packed theater. Though we are preparing to deploy and we are busy, I’d love to give the soldiers an opportunity to kick back and enjoy the film. I wouldn’t mind working some logistics to make it happen. Who wouldn’t want this epic film to screen at their theater?
My Story (blah blah blah who cares):
I was in the Infantry Officer’s Basic Course in Georgia, prior to Ranger School, waiting to complete our final culminating mission when I was introduced to your genre of comedy. We were in a hanger at the airfield and I was bored out of my fucking mind. My friend from UT told me, “Hey dude, while we wait for this Blackhawk ride, why don’t you check out this book?” Well, one and a half days later after reading this thing in the prone, on mission, while shooting aimlessly at the fake enemy, I finished I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. I hadn’t read a book so quickly since Goosebumps #28, the Cuckoo Clock of Doom, in 4th Grade. There was just something special about it that caused me to burn through it. As a 22 year old, the post grad time frame truly appealed to me and I related to every story. I was truly captivated by the book and filled with mischievous energy for some reason I couldn’t put my finger on.
All stories aside, the book really gave me something in life. I had always been outgoing [INFORMATION REDACTED]. I saw your youtube video speech at OSU, which really tapped on about 25 percent of what I got from your book. I related to that. Following your true dreams is something difficult to do when groomed into a traditionally successful and respected profession. The other 75% that I got from your book is how to transfer a drab situation where traditionally fun activity is not likely into experiences that last a lifetime. In your case, this involved the University of Chicago or Duke Law School. In my case, Fort Bragg and Fort Benning served as barriers to wild social undertakings. Your book taught me that you could take a situation where individuals are supposed to be studious, reserved, respectful and cautioned against rambunctious activity and then tell that generally boring way of life to fuck off because you live only once.
Bottom Line: As Dewey Cox as this sounds, the book inspired me to live hard. Real hard. It inspired me to live as if there was no tomorrow and the dividends have paid off immensely.
This was just a shot in the dark before I deploy to see if I could see if I could yet again expand the narrow corridor of life, treat the soldiers to a fantastic night and add have more tremendous story to talk about in [LOCATION REDACTED] on a bitter cold night. I think I am in a position to pull some legwork behind this. I really think that if any of the dates work out, even weekdays, we could make this happen. If not, best of luck with the movie I can’t wait to see it whenever that is. I am sure success will find you.”

How the fuck could I say no to that?
I gave him my requirements, the type of projection system, the playback system, the size of the crowd, etc, and then I told him if he did all the legwork, made it essentially a plug and play event for me, I would fly out on my own dime and do it. Well, three days later he had it all set up. True to my word, I booked my ticket and last night we did the screening.
It went great. This was actually the first time we have screened the full cut for a big non-industry audience since the distributor screening, and it fucking rocked. Start to finish the crowd was totally into it, laughing at all the right places, standing ovation afterwards, it was just fucking awesome.
Then, after the screening, they surprised the shit out of me by giving me a gift. And not just any gift, look at this:

It is a silver flask with my name engraved on the front, and on the back is, “Thank you from the deploying paratroopers of [UNIT REDACTED]. [INFORMATION REDACTED]”
It’s weird; we worked so hard and so long on the movie, I think sometimes I almost forget why we’re doing it–not for the money or the fame or anything like that, but because there is nothing like seeing a crowd of people sit there for 99 minutes laughing their ass off at what you created, and walk away happy and thrilled and quoting the movie to themselves and their friends. To bring that sort of enjoyment to someones life is like no other feeling on earth. That is thanks enough, but then to get such a meaningful gift I mean, I mean, I don’t even know what to say. I guess I can start with, “Thanks.”
Though, the best part of the trip: I spent most of my time hanging out with [SGT J], one of the senior NCO’s in the unit. He was supposed to be my escort while I was in Bragg, but it was leave for him not duty time, so he spent the whole time getting shitfaced, which meant I had to drive HIM around! Kudos to him for being vigilant against getting a DUI, but motherfucker! I’m staying sober and driving you around drunk? WTF??
Let me just say this: I would drink with those guys anywhere, anytime, [LT S, SGT J], and all the other guys who helped with the set-up and got smashed with us at Huske Hardware afterwards. Military guys are always great to hang out with; they are so appreciative of everything, they are respectful and they are fun as fuck. But this crew was even better than normal. A great night all around, the type of night that reminds me why I love my job so much.
Plus, they send the funniest emails. I got this as I was typing this post:
“i am a private in [UNIT REDACTED] and i just wanted to thank you for showing your movie to us, now i dont care if i die in [LOCATION REDACTED] because i have seen your movie, once again thank you and your movie kicked fuckin ass.”
EDIT 1: I took video of last night, but like a moron I left my camera at [SGT J's] house. He’s going to mail it to me, so I have no idea when I’ll get it up.
EDIT 2: I guess I should address this because I know I will get questions about it: This was not necessarily a one time thing. If you are in a unit that is deploying prior to September 25th and you can completely organize the screening and guarantee a big crowd, I will try to find time to fly out to your base myself and screen the movie for you. And I will consider doing other screenings for military prior to the movie release even if the unit isn’t deploying, given my ridiculous time constraints, just email me and we’ll see what we can do.
EDIT 3: I had to redact some unit names and what not because of OPSEC reasons regarding deployment, etc. You know how the military is about that stuff, but it’s fine, it doesn’t change the meaning of anything.

EDIT 4: Ahh, isn’t Deadspin cute? They try so hard to be cool.
But here’s the funniest part, at least to me: They think they are intrepid reporters and have figured this out, and that it was Matthew Berry who was hanging out with me on Tuesday night. They even quoted one of Matt’s tweets as proof. Way to get evidence guys! Fuck those people who make fun of you, you’re just as good as the real press!
I do know Matthew Berry. We have hung out several times before, and he’s has even seen my movie, BUT…it wasn’t Matthew Berry I was out with on Tuesday night in NYC.
Here’s the problem: That tweet was from June 10th. I was in LA on June 10th, hanging out with Matt. But Tuesday night was June 16th. I was in NYC and he wasn’t there. I do have so funny stories about hanging out with Matthew Berry, but none involving models in pink hot pants. You see, Matthew Berry is not the only person who works at ESPN that I know.
In reality, it was John Clayton. That dude can rage.
Shocking I know that a Gawker media property got their facts wrong, and I don’t really think it matters either way, but I just didn’t want my buddy to not get his credit for tagging a hot model and have Matthew Berry steal his limelight.
EDIT 5: No, it wasn’t John Clayton, and no I won’t say who it was, it’s up to him to say or not. But if it was John Clayton, that would have been the height of awesome.

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OK, remember how I said the tour schedule was still tentative? Well, the thinking around here is that, since our media spend and press coverage will center around the top 30 markets or so, we should center the tour around colleges, which will be underserved by normal marketing push.
If we end up deciding to do it this way, here is what the schedule would look like–notice we hit several of the places I said we wanted to go but couldn’t fit, e.g., Pittsburgh, Athens OH, etc, while skipping some big cities, Atlanta, NYC, Chicago, etc.
Potential Tour Schedule:
Aug 18–Auburn, AL (Auburn)
Aug 19–Athens, GA (UGA)
Aug 20–Clemson (Clemson)
Aug 21–Knoxville (UT)
Aug 22–Tuscaloosa (Bama)
Aug 23–Tallahassee (FSU)
Aug 24–Gainesville (UF)
Aug 25–Orlando (UCF)
Aug 26–Travel Day (Orl to RDU, 9 hours)
Aug 27–Raleigh/Durham (UNC/Duke/NC State)
Aug 28–Charlottesville (or Blacksburg)
Aug 29–Washington DC (numerous)
Aug 30–Pittsburgh, PA (Pitt)
Aug 31–State College (PSU)
Sep 1–Philadelphia (numerous)
Sep 2–Piscataway, NJ (Rutgers)
Sep 3–Boston (numerous)
Sept 4,5,6,7–Labor Day Break
Sep 8th–Albany, NY (SUNY Albany), or Syracuse or Buffalo
Sep 9th–Toronto, CA (numerous)
Sep 10th–East Lansing (MSU)
Sep 11th–Ann Arbor, MI (UMich)
Sep 12th–Athens, OH (OhioU)
Sep 13th–Lexington, KY (UK)
Sep 14th–Bloomington (IU)
Sep 15th–Champaign, IL (UI)
Sep 16th–Madison (UWisc)
Sep 17th–Minneapolis (UMinn)
Sep 18th–Iowa City (UIowa)
Sep 19th–Travel Day
Sep 20th–Columbia, MO (Mizzu)
Sep 21st–Lawrence (KU)
Sep 22nd–Norman (OU)
Sep 23rd–Austin (UT)
Sep 24th–College Station (TAMU)
Sep 25–Release
A bunch of people have been asking me if there is any way they can help–there is:
This week and next week we will be booking theaters for the tour. If you live in any of these cities and know of a cool, independent theater that would be a good place for us to have the premiere in that city, email us here, and tell us.
For the Premiere Tour, we generally need to either rent on campus theaters at the universities, or independent theaters. This is so we can stay in the theater and do the Q&A and sign shit after the screening–in a normal theater we would have to be out in 20 minutes because the next screening would start. For example, The Alamo Draft House in Austin is not only an independent theater we can rent out, it serves alcohol.
And YES, we are still going to hit at least a few west coast cities. We are specifically looking right now at San Diego and Seattle, and considering the feasibility of even hitting them on the tour, and will probably find some way to fit Los Angeles in there somewhere, maybe on the 25th.
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True to form, as soon as I posted a tentative schedule for the tour, all sorts of people got all sorts of riled up and sent me all sorts of email, comments, postings etc asking why I wasn’t coming to their city.
Look people, I know this is obvious to most of you, but if it’s not, let me be clear: Time and money are not infinite. Life is a series of decisions and trade offs, and this tour is no different. We have decided to push ourselves to hit 35 cities, which is a HUGE number, but it is far smaller than the number of cities I’d like to hit. So decisions must be made and certain cities will just have to be left out this time. If you have ever chosen between paying a bill and buying something you want, you understand the basic dilemma.
As a general rule, we want to maximize two things: Hitting major population centers, and hitting concentrations of 18-24 year olds, which means hitting college towns when they are in school. Now, that being said, there are specific cities that fit this profile that we are skipping for specific reasons, cities that one would think we would be hitting, and I will try to explain why below:
-Denver/Boulder: I would LOVE to go to Boulder or Denver, but the fact is, we are doing this as a bus tour and it is just too far away. We need to keep the daily drive below six hours, and Denver is far as fuck from anywhere else we are stopping. Distance matters, and Colorado is just too far.
-Pittsburgh: I hate skipping this city, and we still may decide to hit it, but the problem is it’s kinda out of the way from the way we have the tour set up now, and beyond that, we hit a ton of cities relatively close to it (though I know none are that close). Pittsburgh is great, and there is no specific reason we may skip it other than it kinda got lost in the shuffle. But don’t give up hope–we may find room.
-Seattle: Schools in the pacific northwest don’t start until mid to lat September, plus the distances involved, make getting up to this region almost impossible. I’m sorry, but I don’t see us going up this way, unless we do it on the early West Coast swing. But don’t be shocked if we skip it.
-Shreveport: What a bunch of fucking whiny babies. We filmed the movie in Shreveport, and so for some reason many people from Shreveport think this entitles them to get something else from us–I guess the millions of dollars we spent in that city weren’t enough, so they email Nils and I constantly about how we need to come back and premiere the movie. Like we fucking owe them something! Look people, I don’t give a fuck about your city, just like you don’t give a fuck about mine, and no one in Shreveport did anything so super for our film that anyone who worked on the production feels any pressing need to show our affection. We showed our affection by cutting you your check. Be happy someone from the civilized world even came to the city once. Not coming back, stop asking. [I hate to be harsh about this, but there is nothing I hate more than people who act entitled to shit that they should be appreciative for. Fuck that.]
-Upstate New York [Albany, Syracuse, Buffalo, Binghamton, Rochester]: Look, I really wanted to hit at least one of these cities, but in the end, the way the tour shook out, we had to go straight from Boston to Toronto. Sucks I know, but what can I say? I wanted to stop someplace here, we just couldn’t see how to do it.
-Tempe/Arizona State: I have gotten a TON of requests about this one, and believe me, this is tough because I REALLY want to stop here, but again–Tempe is fucking FAR from anywhere else. The closest place we’ll be is LA, which is six hours away, and the stop there is three weeks before school starts. I think I may try to swing it so that I do a screening here and in Tucson the week after the film opens, because I agree that it would be foolish to skip both of these places.
-Tucson/U of Arizona: Almost exact same thing as ASU.
-Morgantown/WVU: Come on–West Virginia? Really? I’m from Kentucky, and West Virginia is one of two states we are allowed to make fun of (the other being Arkansas).
-Athens OH/OU: I really want to stop here, its a great college town, but again, I think this is like Pittsburgh–nothing wrong with it, but it just gets lost in the shuffle. I have been trying to figure out a way to squeeze it in though, because right now we don’t even have a single stop in Ohio, which I feel like is a mistake.
-Tampa: We are hitting Tallahassee, Gainesville and Orlando–we couldn’t hit four cities in Florida, and because Tampa is further south than Orlando, it got cut. Distance was the factor here.
-Ohio State: This is a tough one, because I promised the people here that I would come back on the movie tour. But that was before I looked at their school schedule and realized that they start on September 23rd! We have to skip this on the tour because to make the tour work we have to be in the midwest by that time, but here is what I will probably do: After the tour, I will fly back to Columbus and do a screening there. Probably not a fancy screening with schwag and all kinds of shit, but I’ll make an appearance at least.
-Canada: One good thing is that, until I posted a tour with a Toronto stop, every Canadian was pestering me endlessly about stopping in Canada, but now that they got a stop, they are all apparently happy. Gotta love America’s hat.
If you are bumming because your city is left off, remember three things:
1. You can always take a road trip to the closest city: In fact, I think we may give out a prize to the person at each stop who traveled the farthest to get to the premiere. Maybe Bill Dawes will lick your face or something.
2. The exact same movie will out in theaters: It may be a few weeks later, but the movie will be the exact same. Be patient if you can’t make it to a premiere.
3. Maybe we hit you next time: If the movie does what I think it’ll do, we will do sequels, and I promise we’ll take pains to hit new and different places as much as possible with the subsequent premiere tours.
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OK, lemme give you an update on everything I can:
-Trailer still on schedule for an early July release. We may not release it online first though, as originally planned. We may put the greenband trailer in front of one of the comedies coming out in July first, then a week or so later put the redband trailer on the internet. I’ll let you know as soon as we decide one way or the other.
-Nils and I have started writing the copy for the ads–holy fuck are some of them funny. We are creating all new material for the ads, for two reasons: 1. We are great writers and can do it, and 2. I HATE it when movie ads give away the jokes from the movie. It kills the experience of seeing the joke fresh on screen. So to avoid this as much as possible, we are doing ads copy that is related to the movie, but not direct quotes, that way the ads will make you laugh, but they won’t steal from the movie experience. You may start seeing some of it as early as late July, but if not, definitely in August. And of course, I will post everything we do here.
-Tour planning is coming together nicely. We have picked a tour company, and they are really good, have done a ton of big bands, etc, etc. We will lock down cities and start selling tickets as soon as we can.
-Looks like Bill Dawes is going to come along for the tour. He’s going to be be the MC, which means he’ll introduce the movie, moderate the Q&A, and just be his normal self. Considering he is a great stand-up comic and is in the movie, it works very well.
-Today we finalized what is going in the schwag bags, and picked the basic merchandise we are going to be selling on the site and on the tour. It’s not a ton of stuff, but it is wide range of things and none of it is stupid crap. Everything is something that people will use and like (t-shirts, bottle openers, pint glasses, etc). My personal favorite item is the Beer Pong Kit (we’re going to sell it separate from the schwag bag, obviously). Details coming.
-IPhone app should be ready by August 1st, give or take.
-Here is a TENTATIVE list of stops for the tour. This will unquestionably change at least a little bit, so please don’t think it’s final and start freaking out:
Pre-Tour West Coast Swing:
Aug 6–San Diego
Aug 7–Los Angeles
Aug 8–San Francisco
Aug 9–Seattle
Main Tour:
Aug 18–Athens, GA (UGA)
Aug 19–Atlanta (Ga Tech)
Aug 20–Clemson (Clemson) or Charlotte, NC
Aug 21–Knoxville (UT)
Aug 22–Tuscaloosa (Bama)
Aug 23–Tallahassee (FSU)
Aug 24–Gainesville (UF)
Aug 25–Orlando (CFU)
Aug 26–Travel Day (Orl to RDU, 9 hours)
Aug 27–Raleigh/Durham
Aug 28–Charlottesville (or Blacksburg or Harrisburg)
Aug 29–Washington DC
Aug 30–State College (PSU)
Aug 31–Philadelphia
Sep 1–Piscataway, NJ (Rutgers)
Sep 2–NYC
Sep 3–Boston
Sept 4,5,6,7–Labor Day Break
Sep 8–Toronto, CA
Sep 9–Ann Arbor, MI (UMich)
Sep 10–East Lansing (MSU) or Lexington, KY (UK)
Sep 11–Bloomington (IU)
Sep 12–Chicago
Sep 13–Madison (UWisc)
Sep 14–Minneapolis (UMinn)
Sep 15–Iowa City (UIowa)
Sep 16–Champaign (UI)
Sep 17–Columbia, MO (Mizzu)
Sep 18–Lawrence (KU)
Sep 19–Travel Day [break for Ok/Tulsa game]
Sep 20–Norman (OU)
Sep 21–Dallas
Sep 22–Austin (UT)
Sep 23–College Station (TAMU)
Sep 24–Houston or Baton Rouge, LA (LSU)
Sep 25–Release weekend
-Decided on the basic layout of the movie poster today. I won’t tell you what it is, but let’s just say we aren’t going to reinvent the wheel on this one. Staying with what is proven.
-We still haven’t decided precisely how many screens we will open on or in what cities. This has become a very interesting discussion: Do we open relatively small the first weekend and open on 500 screens in the key 50 markets only, which will get massive per screen averages and build buzz for an expansion (like Slumdog Millionaire), or do we immediately open wide with 2000 screens in every market (like most studio movies)?
There are so many pros and cons for each approach, and the answer is not obvious right now–a month ago I thought it was, but as usual I am learning on the fly and many things I thought to be true weren’t. The demographic research we do over the next week or two will (hopefully) point us in one direction or the other. But in the end, I don’t think it’ll matter much: This movie is so fucking awesome, I am convinced it’s going to be a hit either way, the only question now is (at least to me) what’s the best way for us to get it to the audience.
-I am doing a very cool private screening on June 17th for a special group of people. I will post about it, complete with video, the next day. Don’t ask if you can come, trust me, you don’t want to be part of the group that is being invited to this screening. There is a reason they won’t be able to see the movie when it comes out.
-Also doing a private screening in NYC next week, will probably post about that too, with video. Not for a group as special as the ones on June 17th, but still potentially very cool. If you are a hot girl who lives in NYC and want to go to the screening…I don’t care, you’re not invited.

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I finally made the leap last month and bought an iPhone. This was for many reasons, but the main one is because I wanted to test out various apps in anticipation of the “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell” iPhone app we will be launching (details coming soon).
Well, I got a little obsessed, and ended up spending hours in the App Store downloading apps, and one of the ones I downloaded is now looming heavy in my mind: The “Days Until” App. It is in position #1 on my phone, and right now reads “115.” [for those not paying attention, thats the number of days until September 25th, the day the movie releases]
That seems crazy to me. That’s not even four months until this movie is released. It’s so trippy in so many ways I almost can’t even process it. Even forgetting all the meta issues surrounding this–me marketing a movie I made about me where another guy plays me, except I am the main draw–here is a short and incomplete list of things we have to get done by then:
Trailer:
-Pick a trailer house
-Negotiate their deal
-Cut and approve the green band trailer
-Cut and approve the red band trailer
-Decide which movies to put the trailers in front of
Tour:
-Pick which stops we are making
-Book the tour bus
-Book the venues
-Book the hotels rooms and catering and everything else
-Figure out what press we are inviting @ each stop
Distribution:
-Determine number of screens we open on
-Determine which markets and which theaters in these markets we are in
-Send out info/screen movie for vendors
-Book the theaters
-I am not even sure what else exactly happens to make distribution possible, but I know that there are at least four people working on just this aspect, and there is a lot more to it
Marketing:
-Pick iphone app programmers, get them specs, and get it released
-Pick developers for advanced features on the website
-Do the website and get it up
-Pick designers for various other marketing things we are doing
-Determine which sites we want to do promotions with, and how we are going to do them
Advertising:
-Write press kit for movie
-Media buys needed for TV, print, magazines, and radio
-Design and approve media for each medium
-Design the movie poster
-Do a photo shoot for the poster
Merchandise:
-Figure out what we are going to sell
-Find fulfillment for all of it
-Figure out logistics for internet sales
-Figure out logistics for schwag bags for tour
This is pretty much just scratching the surface. There are so many details and areas I am leaving out; I got exhausted just typing that list. But on the other hand, I don’t want to be overdramatic: a lot of this is already done. Or at least the major strategic decisions that have to be made are already made, so it’s not like we are starting from scratch here. But still–goddamn. That is not a small amount of work.
It is said that making a movie is like launching a start-up. It is. But I think in many ways distributing the movie is just as difficult and unnerving, except in different ways. By my count–and this is probably wrong–right now there are 12 people working full time on releasing this movie, and another 10 part time. And I think we will hire another 20-30 more are various times and for various tasks (video on the tour, etc) during this process. And this is almost a completely different set of people than the ones who made the movie. The only real overlap are me, Nils, Sean and Jeff.
A shit load of work is ahead of us, and not a ton of time to do it in. That’s the bad news. The good news is that we have an awesome movie that we all believe in and love. I don’t know how anyone could do this with a movie they knew sucked. I mean, I am putting everything I have in terms of my emotional investment into this movie, and I can’t imagine doing that if you don’t believe in the product. I really don’t know how you’d even get out of bed in the morning to face a day of marketing “Miss March” or “Ghost of Girlfriends Past.” I’d fucking kill myself.
Anyway, we will be moving at a pretty fast pace now, and I will try to keep you guys in the loop as much as possible. The details of the distribution deal I think will be announced by the trades, so when that happens I’ll just link it and explain the backstory and context that they will inevitably leave out. Trailer will be posted asap, iphone app coming soon, redesigned webpage, Facebook fanpage, merchandise page, tour announcements and of course lots of cool little surprises that I won’t ruin by giving them away are all in the pipeline.
115 days and counting.

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