29 days out: The SeX-ray
August 27, 2009
Man, so much to write about. We still have the Columbia stop to go over, which had a bunch of funny stuff, and last night was, well, what you would expect. The protest bullshit was actually pretty calm and tame, and everything went off without a problem. And of course, there was a ton of funny there…but I can’t go over any of that right now.
I will write all of it up, complete with video, but that has to wait. I didn’t think it was possible, but later that night something happened that totally eclipsed 100 protesters and tons of press coming out to the movie:
I got a Sex-Ray.
What is a Sex-Ray you ask?
Well, I don’t think before last night it was a word, but I invented it to describe what happened to me. It’s when you perform a sex act, in front of an x-ray machine, and get it on video. On X-RAY VIDEO!!!
Check it out [WARNING: Kinda NSFW. And the video has sound]:
Tucker Max seX-ray – Watch more Funny Videos
I didn’t even know that x-ray video existed until yesterday. This is so awesome.
So in addition to inventing a new literary genre, Fratire, I think I may be the inventor of a new fetish: Skeleton Porn.
At the very least, it gives new meaning to the term “skull fucking.”
There are too many boning jokes to even make here.
And don’t worry, considering that the girl blowing me was also the x-ray tech, she was very much consenting, so I didn’t commit “x-raype.”
And I’m spent.
The full post about the Raleigh stop and video of all the protesters and links to all the press articles and what not will be posted tomorrow (pics are up now though). And the video we got–fuck it’s awesome. Dawes, Greg and Charlie KILLED it. But the Sex-Ray was too good to not post right away.
POST SCRIPT: HOW DID THIS GO DOWN?
I got this by complete accident. Jeff had to get something checked out, and one of the girls who came to the screening was an x-ray tech at a rehab center. She runs the place and has keys, so she and her friend agreed to take us there at like midnight to get an x-ray. Of course I get curious:
Me: “Hey, can you get an x-ray of you and me fucking?”
Her: “Of course. But I can do you one better. I can get an x-ray video of us fucking.”
Me: “You shut up! There is no such thing as x-ray video! That’s only in Total Recall!”
Her: “Just watch.”
We got there, and at first we tried to get it so we could x-ray real sex, but that just didn’t work. The frame was too small, so I came up with the idea of doing fellatio. It took a couple minutes to get everything set up right and frame the shot, but once we did it, it worked wonderfully. As you can see.
Jeff even got his own SeX-ray from the other girl.
Remember, this is only Stop 8 of 31.
We’re all gonna die.
